Vulnerable

I started this blog so I would have an outlet for my thoughts.  That was in April, though I have many thoughts since then, I never felt like I needed an outlet for them.  I just kept them hidden.

Looking back was probably one of the worse things I could have done.  I put strain on relationships because I was too scared to share what I was struggling with internally. To be vulnerable with people is to risk something.  And within risking something, there could be hurt in the end but the reward could also be greater than I could ever imagine.  When I shield myself from the possible pain I could endure, I block out the possibilities of the good stuff but with the pain, comes great growth.  There is truth to the old statement 'No pain, no gain.'  The trials I have endured have made me stronger and given me a greater testimony.  I hid my pain of my sister's death for so long and just this past summer I dealt with it in a real way.  I started to process it openly and let people come along side of me and support me.  That event has shaped me in a real way and I can now give God the glory.

"So the strength of vulnerability is a curious mixture of discovering your heart and sharing your real self, as best as you can, with the people God has placed in your life.  You can't shut down on the inside without quelling the very passion that makes the journey worthwhile.  Those walls around the heart take buckets of energy to maintain and God has better things for His children to do.  When we close off our hearts we dishonor Him." -Paula Rineheart