Riley County Police Department

This is a rant on the department of transportation that deals with Manhattan residents.

After a beautiful weekend in Kansas City, catching up with kamp friends and KC friends and some good ole' Sheridan's Frozen Custard I was traveling back to the fine city of Manhattan with a 24 oz of Diet Coke in my system and a bag of candy corn at my side.  

After a quick stop in Topeka, the armpit of Kansas to visit the brother and sister-in-law I was well on my way home.  

I turned on to K-177, ten short minutes from my home.  I had the sudden urge to pee.  I knew I was just a few minutes away, but then the speed limit sign became my worst nightmare as it went from 60 mph to a wretched 45 mph.  After I saw the sign I started to slow down my vehicle but not quick enough because in my rear view mirror I saw the infamous red and blue lights of a police car.

I pull over like a good, law-abiding citizen.  The police officer sauntered over to my car and introduced himself, as if this was a some horrible job interview.  Reminder:  I have to pee, really bad.  And the worst part was, the Phillips 66 was just a mere 100 yards away.  The neon sign and the semi-clean bathroom was trying to suck me in like the sirens do in Greek and Roman mythology.

Insert conversation here:

P.O.-Hello ma'am, I am (insert name here) Do you know why I have pulled you over tonight?

Me-Yes, sir,  I was speeding.

P.O.-I have pulled you over tonight because I clocked you going 58 in a 45.  Are you in a hurry to get somewhere?

Me- Yes, actually I really have to pee, and I promise I won't speed again but I am pretty sure I am going to pee my pants any second now.

P.O.-Ok ma'am I will try to be quick

~At this point he has taken my ID and proof of insurance and gone back to the car that is responsible for shattering dreams of those who need to use the bathroom.  I think it should be a constitutional right to use the bathroom when needed.  I'm just throwing that out there.  As the pain of my bladder worsens I debate whether if I can make it to the gas station after the Benedict Arnold of police officers is done betraying humanity.  I mean police officers are supposed to protect citizens, not steal their money and prevent them from traveling to Branson, where dreams come do true.  At this point, my bladder is literally exploding.  Yes, I peed my pants while waiting for the officer to return.  I am livid and upset as he returns with my ticker.~

Resume conversation here:

P.O.-Ok ma'am, here is all your information and your citation. (then he tells me useless stuff about court)  

Me-Ok, thanks. (I am proceeding to put my driver's license up etc and then this is what I hear)

P.O.-Did you pee you pants like you said? 

Me-Yes, as a matter fact I did (note: I am in tears right now because I got a ticket and I peed my pants which as not happened since I was probably five years of age)

P.O.-Well I am sorry to hear that.

End conversation here

So thank you Riley County Police Department.  Thanks to you I have to now wash my brown shorts and pay the county money that I had saved to travel to Branson, Mo to visit people dear to my heart.

Lesson learned: Never drink 24 oz. of Diet Coke before driving 2 hours.