Things that are easier with two hands.

Here's a list of things un-slinged people take for granted:

-typing (currently 'pecking' with my right hand)

-eating on the couch (note: measuring cups work well, the handle is easy to hold onto and limits food intake or maybe it doesn't)

-opening jars of peanut butter (warning: this may cause reason for emotion breakdown)

-dressing myself (includes buttoning pants)

-texting

-washing dishes

-sleeping (trust me, when you can't lay on your side or move due to a sling, its hard)

-erasing my mistakes on a statistics test 

-folding clothes/blankets

-icing cakes (I haven't actually tried to ice a cake but I can assume)

-washing hair and shaving

-tying shoes

5 more weeks of my one-armed lifestyle

Note the massive black contraption that is called the 'ultra slinger' that adorns the left side of my body, it comes with a velcro cell phone pouch and an exercise ball.

tasty television

I am thoroughly convinced that Guy Fieri from Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives on the Food Network has one of the greatest jobs known to modern society.  

This guy drives around America and tries little hole in the wall restaurants for a living and then tells faithful viewers like me about what he thinks about the greasy little places he tries.  

I wish Paula Deen was my grandmother and the Barefoot Contessa seems stuck up.  

EVOO.  

(If you don't know what that means, please watch Rachel Ray)

I would love to host my own food network show.

I guess for now I am minister to loved ones through baked goods.

And I am ok with that.

End of story.